Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
