I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
