I wanna passion pit in your ass
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
