Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
