don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
you made out with another girl for some wings
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
