In the future we'll all be gay
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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