This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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