Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
