at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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