I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I need a burrito and a hug.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
