Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
