Already got asked if we're dating
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
