There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
