My sheets look like a crime scene.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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