I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
