if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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