I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
