it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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