You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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