If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
