All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
