I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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