my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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