Dual....:-)
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
