how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
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