Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Is Oprah even human
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
