his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
