I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
