Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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