so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
