got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
