i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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