My hair reeks of homosexuality.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
