just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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