i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
