By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
