My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
two words: eviction party
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
