I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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