The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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