Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
