would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
