I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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