im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
