It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
We're too hungover to prance.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
