Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
