Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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