I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
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