You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
