Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
