I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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