remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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