My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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