yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
