so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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