Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
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