why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
