I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
