It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
